AND SO IT GOES...........

SO IVE BEEN WORKING ON FINDING MY WAY BACK TO ME LATELY AND ITS GOING GOOD:) IVE FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH I LOVE THE MOON AND THE STARS. IVE BEEN SO CAUGHT UP IN SO MANY THINGS AND FEELING BAD FOR MYSELF THAT IT SLIPPED MY MIND THAT ONE LOOK AT THE MOON BRINGS A FELLING OF JOY TO ME:) IT DOESNT COST ANY MONEY,ITS JUST THERE FOR ME TO TAKE IN......YESTERDAY AS I DROVE HOME FROM WORK AND LOOKED UP AT THE SKYLINE AND THE SUNSET, IT WAS SIMPLY AMAZING!!!! SO OFTEN WE GO ABOUT OUR EVERYDAY LIFE AND RIGHT IN FRONT OF US THERE IS SO MANY AMAZING THINGS TO LOOK AT. INSTEAD WE CHOOSE TO SIT IN FRONT OF THE TV OR MANY OTHER THINGS THAT DONT STIMULATE OUR BRAINS. TAKE A WALK, LOOK AT THE MOON,STAND BESIDE A WATERFALL AND JUST LISTEN.....THESE ARE THINGS THAT I WILL NOW BE DOING MORE OF FROM THIS POINT ON!!!! HEY WHAT DO YA KNOW I JUST OPENED THE DOOR AND LOOKED OUTSIDE AND THERE IT IS.....THE MOON AND ITS SMILING AT ME:) LIFE IS GOOD AND ITS ONLY GONNA GET BETTER!!! AND SO IT GOES.......

WRITE IT DOWN...........

WOW!!!!! SOMETIMES YOU REALLY GOTTA JUST PULL IT TOGETHER AND MAKE A LIST. AND NOT JUST A LIST IN YOUR HEAD. WRITE IT DOWN. IVE BEEN JUST STUCK AND HAVENT DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I PLAN IT ALL IN MY HEAD BUT NOTHING....I REALLY GOTTA STEP BACK AND GET IT TOGETHER ALREADY.SO IM GONNA START WRITING IT DOWN. IM GONNA TAKE ONE MINUTE AT A TIME CUZ ONE DAY AT A TIME IS A BIT MUCH RIGHT NOW. SO ANYWAY IT WILL ALL WORK OUT IN TIME....SOMETIMES YOU WISH YA HAD A MAGIC WAND BUT THATS ONLY IN FAIRYTALES.FOR NOW IM JUST GONNA USE MY PEN LIKE ITS A MAGIC WAND AND WRITE IT DOWN.....TIME TO START MY LIST.THATS ALL I GOT RIGHT ABOUT NOW......

WHEN I GROW UP I WANNA BE........

OK SO THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A SECOND. MOST OF WHO IS READING THIS POST I WOULD TAKE A GUESS AND SAY YOUR A GROWN UP? SO ASK YOURSELF WHAT THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WAS WHEN YOU WERE TEN OR NINE? TAKE YOURSELF BACK TO YOUR CHILDHOOD AND WHAT IS THE ANSWER? WELL AS FOR ME I REMEMBER MY ANSWER WAS ALWAYS A MODEL OR A LARGE ANIMAL VET. NOW THAT IM THIRTY PLUS, I CANT HELP BUT WONDER WHAT HAPPEN TO THAT PART OF ME THAT WANTED THESE THINGS? PRETTY SAD IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT:( WE GET OLDER AND SO EASILY SETTLE OR DO WHAT WE GOTTA DO TO GET BY. THATS NOT HOW IT HAS TO BE. ITS NEVER TO LATE TO DO ANYTHING AND I AM GONNA START BY ASKING MYSELF AGAIN. "WHAT DO I WANNA BE WHEN I GROW UP?" ANYONE WHOS READING THIS SHOULD ALSO THINK BACK TO WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER AND WHAT YOUR ANSWER WAS BACK THEN? YOU MIGHT BE SURPRIZED WHAT YOU MIGHT FIND WHEN YOU RELIGHT THE CHILD IN YOU:) FUNNY THING IS ITS THE CHILD HIDDEN DEEP DOWN INSIDE OF YOU THAT IF USED IN THE RIGHT WAY WILL MAKE YOU BECOME A BETTER ADULT. GIVE IT A SHOT:)

FINDING MY WAY BACK TO ME.........

ITS CRAZY HOW WE SOMETIMES GET CAUGHT UP IN THINGS AND LOSE OURSELVES ALONG THE WAY. THIS IS NORMAL THOUGH AND ONCE YOU REALIZE THAT IT HAS HAPPEN, TAKE A STEP BACK AND BREATH. DONT BE AFRAID TO BE ALONE,INSTEAD BE CURIOUS AS TO WHAT YOU MIGHT DISCOVER. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU WILL BE ENJOYING LIFE:) READ A BOOK OR WRITE A BLOG.....OR JUST SIT AND DO NOTHING. IM FEELING A LITTLE LOST LATELY BUT I AM AWARE OF WHAT I NEED TO DO AND THAT IS FOCUS ON ME AND WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. IVE BEEN WRITING AND READING ALOT LATELY. IT SEEMS TO HELP ALOT!!! IVE ALSO BEEN GOING TO THE GYM AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL GREAT AND IN TIME I WILL ALSO LOOK GREAT!!I NOW HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUT ME AND WHAT I WANT. I WANT TO LIVE IN THE COUNTRY AND LIVE ON A FARM WITH HORSES AND SO MUCH MORE. YES THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY I PUT MY DREAMS ASIDE:( BUT IM BACK AND BIG OR SMALL DREAMS,WHATEVER THEY MAY BE. REMEMBER ONE THING ITS A DREAM AND BIG DREAMS DONT COST MORE THEN LITTLE DREAMS:) SO DREAM AWAY, SET YOUR GOALS HIGH!!! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE:) LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!! IM SO HAPPY TO BE ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND THAT IS THE BEST FEELING EVER:) IM BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN:)TAKE CARE

THINGS IVE LEARNED........

IVE LEARNED YOU CANT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. PEOPLE WILL HURT YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I HAVE LEARNED THAT WHAT DOESNT KILL YOU REALLY DOES MAKE YOU STRONGER. WINDEX DOES NOT WORK ON PIMPLES. IVE LEARNED IF YA LOVE SOMEONE IT DOESNT MEAN YOU SHOULD BE TOGETHER. NOBODY IS PERFECT. WIERD IS FUN. YOU CANT GET GREAT ABS IN 12 MINUTES. SUSHI IS GREAT!!!!ABSENCE REALLY DOES MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER OR IT MAY ALSO MAKE THE HEART REALIZE ITS FONDER WITHOUT THAT LOVE. JEALOUSY IS A HORRIBLE THING. MY MOM REALLY WAS ALWAYS RIGHT:)NATURE IS GREAT. IVE LEARNED BAD THINGS HAPPEN BUT LIFE GOES ON. IF YA LOVE SOMEONE,TELL THEM OR THE MOMENT MAY PASS YA BY.SMILE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. LOVE YOURSELF,NOBODY WILL EVER DO IT BETTER THEN YOU. DONT RUSH ANYTHING IN LIFE BECAUSE BFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU WILL BE LOOKING BACK WONDERING WHERE THE TIME WENT? ALWAYS KISS YOUR KIDS GOODNIGHT. LOVE WHO YOUR WITH. THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE!!! WINE IS GOOD, BEER IS GREAT:)A DRUNKEN MANS WORDS REALLY ARE A SOBER MANS THOUGHTS.TAKE TIME OUT FOR YOUR GOOD FRIENDS. LIFE IS ABOUT MAKING MISTAKES. MISERY DOES LUV COMPANY.PIGS CANT FLY:) OK THATS IT FOR NOW.....

GOING THROUGH THE EMOTIONS..........

OK SO IM SO UP AND DOWN RIGHT NOW. I AM GOING THROUGH THE EMOTIONS. IM SO SAD AND I REALLY JUST WANT THIS PAIN IN MY HEART TO GO AWAY!!!! I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO TURN MY SADNESS INTO ANGER? NOT SAYING THAT ANGER IS A GOOD THING BUT SOMETIMES WHEN YOUR ANGRY IT HELPS GET PAST THE SADNESS? I DONT KNOW REALLY WHAT TO DO? GRRR LIFE WILL GO ON NO MATTER WHAT BUT IM HAVING TROUBLE GETTING TO THAT NEXT STEP. SO FOR NOW IM GONNA TURN TO THE ANGER TO HELP ME GET OVER IT. AS IM WRITING THIS I KNOW IT MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE THIS BUT ITS WHAT WORKS FOR ME. IM NOT ANGRY AT A PERSON BUT I AM ANGRY AT THE SITUATION!!!!! SO FOR NOW IM NOT READY TO MAKE NICE I JUST WANNA BE MAD FOR AWHILE. THATS ALL I GOT RIGHT NOW:(

SOMEBODY ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE........

HELLO EVERYONE, I MUST SAY LAST NIGHT AND TODAY REALLY SUCKED!!!! I WONT GET INTO DETAIL TO MUCH BUT LETS JUST SAY MY WHOLE WORLD CHANGED IN A SECOND. I HAVE BEEN FEELING BAD FOR MYSELF ALL DAY AND NOW IM REALIZING ITS TIME TO STOP ACTING LIKE I GOT IT SO BAD. YES LAST NIGHT WAS HORRIBLE AND YES IM SAD AND MY HEART IS BREAKING BUT IM ALIVE AND IM BREATHING AND I CAN WALK AND RUN AND MOST OF ALL I HAVE A YOUNG LITTLE BOY THAT NEEDS ME!!!! I NEED TO FOCUS ON WHAT I DO HAVE AND NOT WHAT I DONT HAVE. SOMEBODY REALLY DOES ALWAYS HAVE IT WORSE!!! SO WHEN YOUR HAVING A BAD DAY WHICH IS BOUND TO HAPPEN TIME AND TIME AGAIN:( ITS OK TO GET UPSET, BUT DONT LET IT LAST FOR TO LONG. LEARN FROM WHATEVER IT IS AND MOVE ON. THEY SAY EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND THIS I DO BELIEVE AND SOMETIMES I RACK MY BRAIN ON TRYING TO FIGURE OUT JUST WHY SOMETHING HAPPENED AND WHEN I CANT FIGURE IT OUT, THAT IS WHEN I COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT SOMETIMES WE MAY NEVER KNOW RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT BUT THE DAY WILL COME WHEN WE GET TO WHERE WERE GOING AND YOU LOOK BACK AND SAY WOW!!! THATS WHY THAT HAPPEN:)SO UNTILL THEN I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND SOMEBODY ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE. LIFE ISNT ALWAYS EASY BUT ITS ALWAYS AS EASY AS WE CHOOSE TO MAKE IT....I FEEL BETTER ALREADY:)

CITY VERSES COUNTRY.....

SO I WENT TO NEW YORK FOR NEW YEARS AND I HAD A GREAT TIME WITH GREAT PEOPLE. BUT I ALSO WENT FOR A VISIT AND KNEW I WOULD BE COMING HOME. ALTHOUGH MY LIFE CAN BE A LITTLE HECTIC SOMETIMES AND MY PAIN IN THE BUTT DOGS TEND TO ANNOY ME, I MUST SAY BY THE END OF THE WEEKEND I HAD AN OVERWELMING FEELING OF HOME SICKNESS!!! THE CITY IS NOT MY KIND OF LIVING. THERES WAY TO MUCH GOING ON FOR ME TO HANDLE. AS I LAYED IN A BED IN A LOFT ON SUNDAY NIGHT TRYING TO SLEEP I COULDNT HANDLE ALL THE SOUNDS. THERE WAS SIRENS, HORNS, BREAKS SQEAKING AND PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. I MUCH RATHER THE SOUNDS OF NATURE AND I LIKE THAT AT NIGHT IT SEEMS THAT THE PEOPLE AROUND ME SLEEP AS WELL:) IN NEW YORK IT SEEMS THERES NEVER A QUIET MOMENT. ITS CRAZY HOW I STRESS ALOT IN MY EVERYDAY LIFE BUT YET WHEN I LEFT MY HOME FOR THAT ONE WEEKEND I CAN ADMITT THAT I MISSED ALL THE THINGS AT HOME EVEN THE THINGS THAT ANNOY ME. I GUESS IM JUST NOT A CITY GIRL. I WANT WIDE OPEN SPACES!!! I WANT TO DRIVE DOWN THE STREET AND NOT SEE A SINGLE CAR OR PERSON FOR A MILE. SO I HAD FUN AND I WILL VISIT AGAIN BUT MY CHOICE IS THE COUNTRY:)YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL OUT OF THE COUNTRY BUT YOU CAN NOT EVER TAKE THE COUNTRY OUT OF THE GIRL

CONFUSED? SCARED?

I FIND THAT SOMETIMES WE COME TO A POINT IN OUR LIFE WHEN SOMETHING JUST ISNT RIGHT? VERY OFTEN WE WE SAY SOMETHING LIKE IM CONFUSED AND I NEED TO THINK. BUT IS THIS ALWAYS TRUE? OR IS THAT JUST THE EASY WAY OF RUNNING FROM WHAT WE REALLY ARENT SO CONFUSED ABOUT BUT SCARED OF? I FIND THAT ALOT OF TIMES WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT OR NEED BUT JUST DONT REALLY KNOW HOW TO SAY IT AND WE PLAY IT OFF AS BEING CONFUSED. ITS EASIER THAT WAY. JUST A THOUGHT I HAD WHILE SITTING HERE DOING WASH. ITS CRAZY HOW OUR MINDS WORK.SOMETIMES I THINK TO MUCH OR I DONT THINK AT ALL!!! IF ONLY I COULD FIND THAT IN BETWEEN? IS THERE AN IN BETWEEN OR IS IT ONE EXTREME TO THE NEXT? IDK? OR AM I THINKING TO MUCH? I REALLY DONT KNOW THE ANSWER? I GUESS ILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT MORE:)

THE NEW YEAR

OH MAN ITS A NEW YEAR AND I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I WANNA WORK ON.....WHERE DO I START? QUIT SMOKING, EXERCISE MORE,STRESS LESS,SAVE MONEY AND BUY A HOUSE,LEARN TO COMMUNICATE BETTER AND LEARN TO LET GO OF ANGER.....IM STARTING IT OFF BY WRITING IT DOWN AND HOPING THAT WILL HELP ME TO START ACTING ON THESE THINGS. I REALLY NEED TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER THIS YEAR AND GET THINGS DONE!!!! I SEEM TO BE IN A SLUMP AND HAVENT DONE ANYTHING TO CHANGE IT. NOW IS THE TIME AND ONLY I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN!!! SO HERES TO A NEW YEAR AND LOTS OF THINGS TO COME:)