Tuesday, August 27, 2013


Hello, if you read my last blog then you know I am on a journey to discover me. I explained in my last blog how I always ordered whatever eggs the man I was dating at that time liked or what they recommended? So I decided to make eggs in every way that I could prepare them and once and for all find out how I liked my eggs:) and to answer that question I have come to the conclusion that I don't even like eggs!!! I only eat them cuz I feel we should eat eggs cuz they are good for you:) but with that being said there was one way that I was unable to prepare my eggs and that is eggs Benedict? If I had to choose, that would be how I would like my eggs. Of course the way I like eggs is the one I can't make? Now I would of never tried eggs Benedict among a lot of other delicious foods if it hadn't been for my boyfriend...yes the one that in my last blog I mentioned we broke up. Well we are talking and working through things a little at a time:) when it comes to trying different foods I was always one of those people who wouldn't try things due to the smell,color or texture. Yes that was very stupid as well but I changed that about me when I started dating my current boyfriend. I am so glad now because there's so many delicious foods I would still be missing out on if it wasn't for him:) he taught me to try things not just once but a couple times due to the fact that some things are an aquired taste. And boy was he right!!! So back to my next step on my journey....so I now know I like eggs Benedict and other then that I really don't like eggs at all.....so how about this communication problem? I know I have a major problem talking and I'm fully aware of the trouble it causes in my relationships. I am very good at putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper but I can't do that all the time....this is not gonna be easy and it's gonna take a lot of time. Last weekend I got a lot of feelings out and it felt great but it didn't even put a dent in my stacks of feelings and emotions that I have bottled up over the years:( I guess I really need to get to the root of what brought me to think bottling up everything was a good idea? It had to stem from somewhere and as I'm sitting here writing this, I just realized in my head I know where it all started and I just don't know if I'm ready to tackle it? Grrrr now I'm fighting myself in my head about what to do? No worries though I know what I gotta do and I'm gonna do it!!!! I'm gonna dive into my emotions and feelings head first and allow myself to feel the hurt, pain, disappointment,joy,anger and well you get the point. I chose to not feel anything happy or sad and it's all still there!!! I gotta feel it in order to truly let it go and move on. So this is gonna be very hard and may not be pretty at times but its time to empty the bottles and throw them out!!!! So here's to the bottle cap to my feelings coming off and staying off:) oh boy I got this....just gonna be strong and cowgirl up!!!!! So long and talk to you soon

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